val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,768
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Post by val2525 on Nov 24, 2022 22:48:15 GMT
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Post by Tabby on Dec 6, 2022 17:57:54 GMT
This joke was posted on my local NextDoor... One evening an old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked:' Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator!"
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,768
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Post by val2525 on Jan 23, 2023 0:56:15 GMT
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kritter
Mod Squad
When we lose sight of how we treat animals, we tend to lose sight of our humanity
Posts: 19,898
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Post by kritter on Feb 18, 2023 19:59:48 GMT
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,768
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Post by val2525 on Apr 19, 2023 21:42:23 GMT
Stupid review of the week - posted on a listing for a plant that has "artificial" and "faux" clearly stated in both the title and the description: This artificial snakegrass tree requires a lot of sunlight, which means it should only be used where it gets sunlight. Low comfort, long time wearing will cause fatigue.Why do I think this was a fake review posted by either the seller or a friend of the seller? Actually, after reading all of the reviews, I think they're all fake and written by the same person.
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,768
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Post by val2525 on May 19, 2023 17:08:50 GMT
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Post by Tabby on May 21, 2023 14:34:06 GMT
There's a guy on my local NextDoor who posts jokes almost daily.
Here's one I thought was funny:
A man buys a parrot and brings him home.
But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really nasty, so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson.
He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet.
The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness."
The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you."
The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?"
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,768
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Post by val2525 on Jun 1, 2023 0:24:37 GMT
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Post by Tabby on Jun 10, 2023 15:55:52 GMT
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,768
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Post by val2525 on Jun 14, 2023 17:31:21 GMT
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Post by Tabby on Jul 4, 2023 3:15:22 GMT
Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells down the stairs, "was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says "I sure hope I never get that forgetful." She knocks on wood for good measure. She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,768
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Post by val2525 on Aug 11, 2023 20:19:13 GMT
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,768
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Post by val2525 on Aug 11, 2023 20:19:31 GMT
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,768
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Post by val2525 on Aug 21, 2023 19:10:14 GMT
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Post by staytuned on Aug 21, 2023 19:47:57 GMT
I'd rather have that with a "g" in front of the "rave". I loathe those destructive little demons.
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Post by sunsetpainter on Aug 21, 2023 20:23:53 GMT
I'd rather have that with a "g" in front of the "rave". I loathe those destructive little demons.
I took care of their furry little butts...I put super hot cayenne pepper with the bird seed in the bird feeders and all around on the ground. I used to have 10 - 15 per day, now I just get one occasionally (I think it's lost!). Bwah-ha-ha!!
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Post by chapeaunoir on Aug 21, 2023 22:41:47 GMT
"Things I'm Super Good At 1. Forgetting someone's name 30 seconds after they tell me. 2. Running. Late, that is. 3. Making plans...then regretting making plans. 4. Thinking of a great comeback an hour later. 5. Digging through the trash for the food box I just tossed, because I already forgot the directions. 6. Adding items to online carts then deleting. 7. Googling my ailments. Then panicking. 8. Leaving laundry to wrinkle in the dryer. 9. Forgetting why I walked into the room. 10. Calculating how much sleep I'll get if I can just "Fall asleep right now." I feel seen.
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Post by sunsetpainter on Sept 10, 2023 3:02:57 GMT
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,768
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Post by val2525 on Oct 3, 2023 20:31:11 GMT
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,768
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Post by val2525 on Oct 10, 2023 22:28:03 GMT
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Post by Tabby on Nov 21, 2023 18:11:00 GMT
I just came across this Instagram account. The posts are hilarious! Here's a sampling:
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Post by Tabby on Nov 21, 2023 18:11:51 GMT
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Post by Tabby on Nov 21, 2023 18:12:26 GMT
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kritter
Mod Squad
When we lose sight of how we treat animals, we tend to lose sight of our humanity
Posts: 19,898
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Post by kritter on Nov 21, 2023 18:19:16 GMT
The Shit Show one is a classic.
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,768
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Post by val2525 on Nov 25, 2023 18:51:39 GMT
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,768
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Post by val2525 on Dec 24, 2023 15:57:17 GMT
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Post by sunsetpainter on Jan 5, 2024 21:00:11 GMT
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kritter
Mod Squad
When we lose sight of how we treat animals, we tend to lose sight of our humanity
Posts: 19,898
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Post by kritter on Jan 15, 2024 21:15:41 GMT
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,768
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Post by val2525 on Feb 1, 2024 22:03:37 GMT
This one is for Kritter and Shirley
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,768
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Post by val2525 on Feb 11, 2024 19:08:29 GMT
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