I need a waambulance or at least a fur baby!!!!

[Deleted]

I am whining and venting here because it's better than fighting a battle I can't win with words. I want a furry furry baby. DH is allergic to dander, so I've been searching low dander cats like Rex's and Sphinx's. Today I found a breeder that looks good (would have to check out their practices before buying of course).

I tell DH I found a place (I've been talking about this for a year or two so it's not a surprise). His answer? What if I sneeze? That's it no questions about the cats or anything. Then he proceeds to pick a fight with me about how I always seem mad at him. I left the living room and am sulking in my office. 

I'm just feeling really unhappy right now and generally not talking to him unless it's necessary or he asks me a question. 

I'm pizzed he won't even try. I miss having a kitty and I've told him this many many times. I even went out of my way to research allergies and how to keep dander super low in low dander breeds, but he won't even listen. I feel like he's being selfish and stubborn. 

[kritter]

Its very apparent from what you said that he doesn't want a cat and is not going to even consider one no matter what solution you come up with.

He is being selfish and stubborn not to even listen and give you a chance. That is the least he could do.

[val2525]

Define "allergy".

If all he does is sneeze, that's not life threatening. If his throat swelled up, ok, maybe no cats for him. But a sneeze?

Puh-leeze.

Dust at work can make him sneeze. Is he considering quitting work?
Dust outside can make him sneeze. Is he considering staying indoors the rest of his life?
Mist in the shower can make him sneeze. Is he considering not showering ever again?

If the First Daughter can handle her dog allergies around the family dog, your DH can adapt too.

I think about now I'd be telling him to suck it up and deal with it, because you're cat hunting.

Of course, that attitude is also probably why I'm single.

[Deleted]

He should let you present your case, I agree.

But - what if he sneezes so much you have to get rid of the cat? Do you have a plan in mind? (Pedigree cats you can usually find a new home, possibly through the original breeder.)

I have to be cynical - do you KNOW that he sneezes? That is, have you ever seen him near a cat? Maybe it's just an excuse for not getting one?

[kritter]

I have to be cynical - do you KNOW that he sneezes? That is, have you ever seen him near a cat? Maybe it's just an excuse for not getting one?

Have to admit, that thought also crossed my mind.

 He seems to be a little too aggressive on this sneezing allergy issue.

[val2525]

My last ex BF was allergic to cats, but never said anything when we first started dating. I finally noticed him having trouble breathing - wheezing, etc. and asked what was up. That's when he said he was "a little bit allergic to cats". A little? I think he tried to tough it out because he actually liked cats and dogs.

[Deleted]

He sneezes and gets watery eyes when we visit my Mom. She has 3 cats and there is lots of shedding (lots of dander around). I would think if I got a Cornish Rex or hairless and kept it clean there would not really be much of a problem. I'm sure we could find a home for a Rex or Sphinx, but the biggest problem would be I wouldn't really want to give the kittah away.

This is the longest I've ever gone without having a kittah around the house and I really miss having one.

[val2525]

He sneezes and gets watery eyes when we visit my Mom.

One word: Benedryl

[kritter]

Yep, Benedryl will take care of that in no time.

[allikat]

I can understand where your boyfriend is coming from, I am horribly allergic to cats, sneeze, wheeze and eyes swell shut. I am almost as allergic to dogs but not quite dogs give me hives, sneezing and itchy eyes but no wheezing, I grew up with a dog but I had to take allergy shots to live with it. That is how I ended up with birds, lol.

I love dogs and cats, puppies and kittens and I always play with every else's pets and then come home and take a bath, wash hands really good and scrub face. Benedryl does work but it puts me to sleep even 1/2 a dose of the kids liquid knocks me out for hours so that wouldn't be the solution for me. It puts me to sleep and I wake with such a hangover type feeling.

I would never be able to invite a kitty to live with me which breaks my heart but I know ahead of time it just would be so uncomfortable for me. I offered to take allergy shots again so we could get a family dog but my husband didn't want me to suffer so we never gave it a try. I would never have been able to bring a dog into house and then get rid of it if I was uncomfortable I would have just lived with it, my heart would not let me rehome a family member.

I don't know what advice to give I just wanted to give you the perspective from the allergic side.

[titus730]

My eldest brother was allergic to cats but not dogs. He wanted a cat so got one the the hairless breeds, Rex or whatever. Funny looking kitty but a loving, little sweetheart. His "fur" was like velvet. His name was ET and he really looked like an alien. Brother never had a problem with the cat. The only issue with these cats is you have to keep them warm. ET used to get under the bed covers to stay warm.

I say go for it.

Aww, Allikat, your husband is so sweet.

[Deleted]

I'm with allikat.

Although we've had a couple through the years, I'm allergic to cats. Each time we had one, I couldn't pet her, let her sit next to me, let her sit on "my" chair in the family room, etc., or I'd have a wheezing asthma attack. If I were to touch my eyes after coming in contact with her, I'd have itchy watery eyes. There is no way I'd ever be able to sleep with a cat and neither were ever allowed in my bedroom.

DS lives on his own now and got a kitten several months ago. I can't be in his place for more than a few minutes without getting wheezy and uncomfortable.

IMO, your DH shouldn't be required to medicate himself to live in his own home because you want a kitty. There's no way to know if one of the low dander ones is going to trigger his allergies without actually spending a good amount of time with one in an enclosed area. When we adopted our first cat from the vet's office, I sat in a rocking chair in one of the exam rooms holding her and sticking my face in her fur off and on for about 30 minutes and had no reaction. Once she was in my home for a few days, the symptoms started.

Like your DH, I'd be very hesitant to even entertain the idea of a low dander one as he probably knows that, once you have the cat in your house, there's no way you're going to want to give it up.

[Deleted]

I had horrible allergies growing up, problems breathing, sneezing, coughing, chronic hives you name it. Then when DH and I met the dog I had got out during a thunderstorm (she was staying at my Moms while we moved) and we never found her. Didn't have a pet again for about 12 years. During those years almost all of my allergies vanished. Then one day I pet a cat a flea market and eyes swelled closed and my throat felt thick and scratchy. That's when I realized I was allergic to cats. When we eventually got a dog my allergies all came back with a vengeance. Been miserable since then but the kids would be heartbroken if we didn't have a dog in the home so we are on dog #2 right now. Kids are almost all out of the house so there won't be a dog #3, though this one should still be around a long while. I love pets but taking daily allergy meds just to keep allergies at a more tolerable level just isn't worth it.

[Deleted]

Your husband is sweet Allikat. I know allergies are no fun. I take a claritin daily because I have allergies and it's no fun when I feel tired and stuffy. I understand and I don't want him to suffer every day. On the same note I don't want to hear him blame the cat every time the pollen count gets high. He's never taken an allergy test, which kinda irritates me.

I had one of my mom's kittahs staying with me when DH and I were dating and although he would get to the point where he would need to take an allergy pill, he didn't ever get dangerously sick or have any scary problems after visitig.

I remember him sleeping over in the bed with all the cat hair and the purring cat so I know it's not going to put him in the hospital.

Plus, I know he's not dangerously allergic because I've let the little not-quite-feral kittahs, who live in the area of the office, inside for some water and a nice petting session. He doesn't know and has never said anything about sneezing in there.

[Deleted]

Aug 14, 2015 12:52:23 GMT titus730 said:

My eldest brother was allergic to cats but not dogs. He wanted a cat so got one the the hairless breeds, Rex or whatever. Funny looking kitty but a loving, little sweetheart. His "fur" was like velvet. His name was ET and he really looked like an alien. Brother never had a problem with the cat. The only issue with these cats is you have to keep them warm. ET used to get under the bed covers to stay warm.

I say go for it.

Aww, Allikat, your husband is so sweet.

Sounds like a Sphinx. The same breeder also has Sphinx's but you have to wait a little longer. I think they are cute little nekked looking cats. 

Edit: I'd love to keep the little big eared kittah nice and warm.

[val2525]

Those of you with breathing reactions, that's a serious symptom and legitimate allergy. You shouldn't have a pet. But gracefuls' DH has sneezing/watering eyes. That's minor and not life threatening. And very treatable. And if he has pollen allergies, if he'd get them under control, the "pet allergy" might also be under control.

[Deleted]

Just what I was going to say, Val.

He should at least have the allergy test. How do you know it's not something else in or outside your mother's house making him sneeze?

Mind you, I had allergy tests when I was a teenager and they said I was allergic to cats. I believed it because I used to go over to my best friend's house and come home sneezy, but it could have been dust mites or pollen or cats. Or fleas. They always had fleas and I always got bitten.

I now have four cats and I'm fine except when the pollen is out or it's foggy.