I think it's time to say goodbye to my girl.

[Deleted]

You may remember that I have a 16 1/2 year old girl cat who was diagnosed with bladder cancer in October.  She's been doing well, although she has lost a lot of weight and is basically just skin and bones covered with fur.  Well, starting this past weekend, she has been walking around and crying a lot. I've been giving her pain meds, but it isn't helping today.  She's been very needy, and even started sleeping with me again.


I'm so torn.  I don't want to rush her, but I don't want her to suffer either.  She's been eating a little, using the litter box, drinking a tiny bit of light cream (not a good thing, I know, but she likes it and needs the calories).  She even started coming downstairs a few months ago and cruising through the house.  I was hoping that I would get more positive indicators when it was time to let her go.  My last cat pretty much just collapsed.  But I think this constant crying is about the best clue I'm going to get. 

If this doesn't improve overnight, I'll have to take her in tomorrow.  And I have to be strong, because my vet is the type that always wants to just try one more thing.  And I'm not putting her through that.

Feeling sad...

[Deleted]

(((Millmar))) I'm so sorry. It's always hard to know for sure what the right thing to do is, and always a rough step to take when you do decide it's time. I'll be sending positive thoughts and wishes that the decision comes to you soon. What's her name BTW, and do you have any pictures you can share with us?

[Deleted]

Thanks. Her name is Jessie.  Or as I usually refer to her, Jessie Marie.  I not even sure we're going to make it through tonight.  Might be going to the emergency vet.  She's refusing food - I've tried 3 different ones and she turned them all down, and she only licked a little cream.  And the crying is pretty much non-stop.  I think she is telling me and I need to listen.  I'm not a big one for pictures.  This is the best I have.

[kritter]

Milmar, I have been in your position several times in the past and it is not an easy place to hold.

It sounds like she is telling you what she needs you to hear.

Please stand tough and don't let your vet "try one more thing". I refuse to go to a vet that takes that stand.

Jessie is such a pretty girl and I am sure she has had a wonderful life with you.

[kritter]

Just thinking about you and Jessie....

[Deleted]

Thanks Kritter.  I just gave her some more pain meds.  She has quieted down quite a bit.  I'm hoping to make it to morning when we can see her regular vet.  There is one vet at the practice there who is amazing.  She's the one who put down my feral Mindy in October.  I've never had a bad experience at the emergency vet, which is nearby, but it's hit or miss as to which vet is working tonight.  And, of course, there is no relationship with the vet, since they're emergency only.

I'm sure tomorrow is the day.  And I don't really think they'll give me an argument.  When they diagnosed Jessie's cancer, they told me that there was really nothing to do but keep her comfortable as long as possible.  They didn't push treatment.  When I researched it later, I found out that chemo/surgery, etc. might only buy a few months.  And that wasn't a sure thing.  So I know they're expecting this.  But if they do push for any other treatment, I will stand firm.  I made that decision long ago when I made one of my dogs suffer unnecessarily for a week because I wasn't ready to let him go.  I told myself never again, and I've stuck to it.

Hopefully we'll make it through tonight.  I'll let you know.  Thanks for caring.

[kritter]

Yes, please let me know. I will be thinking of you and Jessie tomorrow.

I waited too long with my Claus and I swore I would never do it again. In my heart, I knew he was ready to go but I wasn't ready to be without him. I still regret making him suffer longer than he need to just because I was selfish. 

Claus will be waiting for Jessie at the Rainbow Bridge. Its always good to have another waiting at the gate for you.

[Deleted]

Awww, she's a sweet looking girl. Thanks for sharing that picture of Jessie. Wishing you strength and comfort on your journey tomorrow.

[sunsetpainter]

(((((milmar)))))

[Shirley U Geste]

Jessie is a beautiful girl.

Bless you for giving her a wonderful life and being strong for her at the end of her days.

You and Jessie Marie will be in my thoughts.

[zoesam]

You are in my thoughts. It's such a hard position to be in & we always want what's best for them & want them not to be hurting. I have been in your position multiple times & the only thing I can share is that I never question the times where maybe it was a day or a week too soon. I have very deep & long lasting regret over the time I waited too long, wanting to try one more thing or not seeing the signs as clearly as I should have. Honestly, it's probably the only thing I would 'do over' in my life.

My thoughts are with you both.

[Deleted]

Thanks for all the kind words.  I left a message at the vet's office asking for an appointment for tomorrow.  It has become more obvious to me that this is the right decision.

[val2525]

I'm sorry, milmar. Hootie and I are sending hugs your way.

[Deleted]

I really feel for you, this is such a sad and difficult situation to be in. But you know in your heart when is the right time to let go. And it sounds like she's telling you she's ready.

Hugs to you both.

[frakinfashion]

((((milmar))))
I put my darling dog Janie to sleep last fall. It may have been too early, she was going into heart failure and coughing all the time and didn't want to walk too much, but I didn't want her to suffer and I didn't want to watch her suffer. I feel so sorry for you. You gave beautiful Jessie a long and wonderful life.

[Deleted]

((((milmar & jessie)))) I'm choking up just thinking about what your feelings are at this time. Bless you both.

[Deleted]

Big hugs to you.
Jessie is a cutie and I can't imagine how much she will be missed in your house.

[Deleted]

(((milmar))) Hoping for strength and peace for you today. You and Jessie were lucky to have one another. She's a beautiful girl.

[Deleted]

Thanks everyone.  It's done.  I knew last night that it was time.  I left a message at my vet's office that I needed to come in today.  Jessie finally settled down around 3 a.m. and came to sleep with me.  By 8 she was wandering the house crying again, so I knew I made the right choice.  As much as I complain about my vet being expensive and maybe too thorough, they do things right.  They put me in a room with Jessie.  The vet came in and gave her a tranquilizer shot, so I was able to hold her in my arms while she went to sleep.  After about 5 minutes, when she was definitely out, he came back and administered the final shot.  It's peaceful and, in a way, beautiful.  The vet was very kind and also told me I did the right thing.  In fact, he was surprised that she lasted as long as she did after her diagnosis.

Thanks for all the kind thoughts and support.  I'm going to take a breather, then deal with the clearing out.  My 2 girls had taken over the second bedroom, and all their stuff needs to be cleaned up and stored away for the next one who decides to adopt me.  My boy cat has made his home on the first floor.

[kritter]

Thanks for the update. I was thinking about Jessie this morning when I was feeding my herd.

[Deleted]

((((milmar)))

We had to euthanize 2 of our dogs in the past...but were able to experience their last moments as you did. Our last 2 passed on at home peacefully, saving us from the dreaded feelings of guilt. But it is so much more humane when you know they are suffering, to let go.

Fur babies are special...and never forgotten. 

[titus730]

Big warming and healing hugs to you Milmar.

[zoesam]

I am so sorry for your loss Milmar. You did the right thing & you can be at peace about that. Of course you will grieve now, but hopefully over time, the grief will make way for all your good memories to come flooding back.

[sunsetpainter]

I'm so sorry milmar. Will be thinking about you. ((((milmar))))

[chapeaunoir]

I just read this and am so sorry! You did the very best thing you could for Jessie, a great life and helping her on in a quiet, peaceful way in your arms. I've been through this, too, and it's never an easy decision.

[Shirley U Geste]

(((((Milmar))))) (((((Jessie)))))

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Deleted]

((Milmar & Jessie)). I'm so sorry for your loss. It is such a hard decision, but you know when the time is right and she had a wonderful life with someone who loved her. She was a beautiful girl.

[blissfullymiserable]

I'm always on the verge of tears whenever I learn of someone losing their beloved pet. They bring so much joy and not having them around is just

[val2525]

((((milmar))))) I'm sorry you had to make that decision. Even when it's right, it's hard.

[Deleted]

Thanks everyone.  I've had to do this before, but usually it was more clear cut.  Jessie was such a trooper that she just kept fighting and not really letting me know until yesterday just how hard it was for her.  I'm ok with the decision.  Now I just have to get used to not having her around any more.