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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2015 9:01:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2015 22:09:57 GMT
LOL. Yeah, that's about how long my diets last too.  |
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2015 12:38:01 GMT
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kritter
Mod Squad
When we lose sight of how we treat animals, we tend to lose sight of our humanity
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Post by kritter on May 28, 2015 15:31:04 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2015 2:24:50 GMT
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kritter
Mod Squad
When we lose sight of how we treat animals, we tend to lose sight of our humanity
Posts: 19,901
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Post by kritter on Jun 1, 2015 17:41:54 GMT
> After I retired, my wife insisted
> that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart.
>
> Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and
> preferred to get in and get out.
>
> Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves
> to browse & leaves me with endless time to fulfill.
>
> Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from
> the local Walmart:
>
> Dear Mrs. Harris:
>
> Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a
> commotion, in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior
> and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store. Our
> complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed
> below and are documented by our video
> surveillance cameras:
>
> 1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put
> them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
>
> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off
> at 5-minute intervals.
>
> 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
> leading to the women's restroom.
>
> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an
> official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right
> away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned
> station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in
> turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to
> lose time; and costing the company money. We don't have a
> Code 3.
>
> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag
> of M&Ms on layaway.
>
> 6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a
> carpeted area.
>
> 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and
> told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would
> bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to
> which twenty children obliged.
>
> 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he
> began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave
> me alone?' EMTs were called.
>
> 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and
> used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
>
> 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting
> department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants
> were.
>
> 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while,
> loudly humming the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.
>
> 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his,
> 'Madonna Look' using different sizes of
> funnels.
>
> 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
> browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK
> ME!'
>
> 14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud
> speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed; 'OH NO!
> IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
>
> 15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked
> where is the fitting room?
>
> And last, but not least:
>
> 16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door,
> waited awhile; then yelled very loudly,
> 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks
> passed out.
>
> Enjoy Life - It has an expiration date
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Post by titus730 on Jun 1, 2015 18:26:26 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2015 21:37:19 GMT
Get up to date on Fashion...
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2015 21:47:19 GMT
I wanna sell some of these...
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2015 22:06:28 GMT
$$$ Savings TIP of the Day...
If you need a manni for your plus size clothing...
... just buy a pair of these for your male manni ... so simple
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Post by Deleted on Jun 16, 2015 19:37:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 17, 2015 1:47:09 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2015 1:40:49 GMT
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,777
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Post by val2525 on Aug 9, 2015 0:14:46 GMT
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,777
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Post by val2525 on Aug 20, 2015 0:39:23 GMT
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,777
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Post by val2525 on Aug 20, 2015 4:25:00 GMT
I saw this on a Denver forum. The totally happenstance order of the threads was too ironic not to capture:  |
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Post by sunsetpainter on Sept 9, 2015 3:34:57 GMT
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,777
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Post by val2525 on Sept 9, 2015 4:51:35 GMT
St Clair Winery Membres Red chilled would also work for #4. It's like grownup koolaid and goes down just about as fast. Ahhhhh.
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Post by titus730 on Oct 6, 2015 16:41:48 GMT
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Post by sunsetpainter on Dec 16, 2015 22:38:08 GMT
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Post by sunsetpainter on Dec 23, 2015 17:20:52 GMT
Saw this in a recipe blog and it made me laugh because our family tends to make up words too...we know what we mean!  "PS: I used the word “toastiness” three times in this post and my spellchecker keeps saying it’s not a word. If I say it and you know what I mean, then it’s a word. So there." |
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Post by titus730 on Dec 30, 2015 18:38:15 GMT
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,777
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Post by val2525 on Jan 3, 2016 19:10:59 GMT
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,777
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Post by val2525 on Jan 3, 2016 19:11:21 GMT
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,777
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Post by val2525 on Jan 3, 2016 19:11:42 GMT
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,777
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Post by val2525 on Jan 3, 2016 19:12:04 GMT
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,777
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Post by val2525 on Jan 3, 2016 19:12:29 GMT
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,777
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Post by val2525 on Jan 3, 2016 19:12:44 GMT
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,777
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Post by val2525 on Jan 3, 2016 19:13:00 GMT
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val2525
Chaos Manager
Posts: 30,777
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Post by val2525 on Jan 3, 2016 19:13:17 GMT
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