How do you decide when it is time?

[allikat]

My cockatiel Sweetie has a tumor on her tail, she has lost all her tail feathers.  The tumor is growing but she is still eating, drinking and pooping and getting around pretty good.  She has stopped whistling.  I know she is is going to be an angel but I just don't know how to decide when is the right time.  We were at the vet about 1 1/2 months ago and vet said weeks to months for prognosis.

Those of you who have had to make the decision to let their pet sleep did it become very obvious it was time?  I don't want to be too early but I definitely do not want to be too late and have her suffer.  All my other birds have passed naturally so this is a first for me and I am having a very hard time making a decision.

Thanks for any opinions.  She was found outside but has been with us and very loved for about 13 years, she is somewhere around 15.  Cockatiel life span is about 15 to 25 years so she has had a good life.  She is bonded with the 28 years old cockatiel Petey so I think he is going to miss her.

Right now she is getting all the treats, cheetos, noodles and crackers she wants and lots of loving talk.  I keep telling her it is ok to let me know it is time.  Her tail area looks terrible but the rest of her looks pretty good.

Thanks

[Deleted]

(((alli))) It's so difficult isn't it? When my grandmother passed many years ago, we inherited her toy poodle, who was pretty old at the time. We had her for about 2 years when we noticed that one of her eyes was seemingly shifting further away from the other eye. As the weeks went on, it was getting more obvious that there was some sort of tumor growing in there. But she keep on eating/drinking, pooping and being the little spitfire that she was.

It was when she started bumping into things as her eye moved practically to the other side of her head that we brought her to the vet. Her told us it was a tumor and that she should probably be put down. We explained that she was eating/drinking and acting normally and didn't appear to be in any pain. He said that she probably was in pain though. We didn't want to believe him, so we took her home. A few days later, after thinking about what he said, and watching her bump into a wall several times, and then just stand there, sort of staring at the wall, we figured it was time. And we did second guess ourselves at first, but finally settled into the reality that it was the right time, she was no longer the feisty little scamp that she used to be.

It's hard, but somehow, when it's time, you will know in your heart.

[allikat]

Thanks I am struggling with the decision I appreciate your thoughts.

[Deleted]

Oh man, I'm so sorry, this is such a hard decision to make.

For us (and unfortunately, we had to decide for 3 different pets in the span of like 18 months) it was when the bad days seemed to outnumber the good.

[sunsetpainter]

(((allikat))) This is the hardest decision. For us, like digital said, it was when the good days outnumbered the bad. Two of ours really took the decision away from us as one had a stroke and one a ruptured liver tumor. It was more merciful to let them go than to let them suffer. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

[chapeaunoir]

allikat - I've had to make this decision with my own birds. I did it when they stopped eating and singing - as long as they enjoyed their food and chirped and did their little bird things, even if slowly, I just observed. When that stopped, I knew it was time.  

[Deleted]

Sorry about your baby.

I suppose if little Sweetie is still eating and behaving relatively normal I would wait. I think with birds (my limited knowledge although we've had many for years) you tend to know when they're ill. 
We have a 15 yr old African Grey that tested positive for Avian Bornavirus almost 2 years ago-AKA Macaw Wasting Disease and affected birds can literally starve to death bc they don't absorb nutrients. Spencer lost a bit of weight but he's relatively happy and thankfully doesn't behave ill.

I'd also ask your vet too-some don't have a lot of avian knowledge but hopefully he/she will offer some help. It's never easy regardless-I had a horrible decision with my 6.5 yr. old boxer who had systemic cancer. She ended up hemorrhaging from a new medication and I wished I had let her go a week prior-she was ready to go but my vet wanted to give her new medication a chance to work.

I guess the best thing to do is what's really best for Sweetie.

[deltas*delights]

Alli, I'm so sorry. I have very little experience with birds, but I have experience with cats.

With Minnie, she was 14 when she had a small tumor pop on her chest right below her nipple. It stayed small for a couple of years, then wham overnight it got huge. The vet removed it, but said it was likely to come back on another nipple (it was quite literally breast cancer) and it did within a couple of weeks. It was obvious she didn't feel good, and there was nothing else they could do (plus her age was against her) so we sent her to the bridge.

With my little Sampson, he was spry til he was 20. Then he slowed down, and wasnt' as spry but he didn't act like he felt bad. He could hardly see. One day he just laid down in the chair and didn't get back up. We don't have an emergency vet here so we just let him lie as comfy as could be til the vet opened and we got to say our goodbyes. He made it to 21. I'm tearing up now, I loved that animal as no other, and I'm so sorry you are going through this but it is the last show of love we can give our pets.

[allikat]

Thanks everyone! I think I am going to wait another day or two and just watch. I would post a picture but her tail area is so terrible looking I don't want to gross anyone out. I cleaned her all up about 2 weeks ago and all the mess came back. I tried to clean again on Friday but it just didn't want to come off this time, I am thinking I will call the vet and talk to her. I did this when I decided to clean her tail area, vet is avian specialist and so nice, so I am lucky she is in my area. I hate to take her in again because she isn't a bird that likes to be handled and moved so it is difficult for her.

Just think happy thoughts for us... a graceful, peaceful pain free passing.

[Deleted]

(((Allikat and Sweetie))) The "bad days outnumbering the good" makes a lot of sense -- and it sounds like she's still having mostly good days. But it's so hard to know, and too easy to beat yourself up for not being psychic :-(

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry you have to do this. She stopped whistling so it's probably time. A day too early is better than a day too late.

(((( Alli & Sweetie ))) She's lucky to have you.

[kritter]

IMO When you have to debate with yourself whether it is time or not, it is time.

[Deleted]

Alli, having had to let two cats go this year I could go into a whole big deal but I won't.

If Sweetie has stopped whistling, and whistling was a big thing with her, it's getting to "the time". But add to it the sore tail and it IS time, now. It must hurt terribly.

You know, intellectually, that it's time. All you're waiting for is your heart to catch up.

[allikat]

She has told me it is time. We are headed to the vet, she will be an angel very soon. Lots of tears here. Sorry for the sad update.

[Deleted]

(((Alli)))) & ((((Sweetie)))) You gave her a good life.

[labbypaws]

I am sorry😢

[chapeaunoir]

Ronda said it best:   it is the last show of love we can give our pets

(((Allikat and Sweetie)))

[val2525]

(((((allikat)))))

[allikat]

It is done and I am home. All is good, sad but good.

[kat]

((((Allikat)))

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry for your loss

[sunsetpainter]

(((allikat)))

[57roses]

So sorry. 

[Deleted]

(((Allikat & Sweetie)))

Please know you did the right thing, and when the sun rises tomorrow she'll be flying (and whistling!) around the meadow next to the rainbow bridge.

[allikat]

Thanks all for listening to me and advice. I feel very confident in my decision and I feel both Sweetie and I are at peace. Everyone was correct it became obvious it was time, she was not herself on Sunday and Monday she stopped eating and drinking and was having a hard time getting around cage. This has been a rough year I hope the pendulum swings the other way for a while I need an emotional break.

[deltas*delights]

(((((Allikat)))))) I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Deleted]

(((Alli & Sweetie))) It is the worst. I'm glad you're at peace with your decision.

[Deleted]

(((allikat))) Sweetie will be one of the BEST little angels because she already knows all about wings.

Every time I read your posts I remember the few pet birds I've had and what lovely companions they were. The way they cock their head and look at you, even while they're eating, and the way they snuggle into your neck...they're just adorable.

[zoesam]

I am so sorry for your loss Alli. But I'm glad to read that you're at peace with your decision, that is so important. (((Alli))

[titus730]

Oh Allikat, I'm so sorry. Your baby is flying through the always blue skies in the land over the rainbow bridge.